On Sunday the boys (Henry Golding, David Barton-Grimley and Khalid Hilaby) and I decided to venture out of KL for a little rest and relaxation. Thanks to Omar (and Mariq and Effa), we found our way to the waterfalls at Sungai Dua, off the Karak highway. It was actually supposed to be a post birthday celebration for Chuong, but then birthday boy didn’t show up so we had all the fun for him (Happy Birthday Chuong)!

I shamefully admit that this is the first time I’ve been to such a pretty waterfall. Not that I’ve only been to ugly falls, but they’ve all been small and trickly rather than big and gushing. There is something rather magical about falls. Especially when you finally manage to claw your way to the back of one. It is a mixture of silence and noise. To one side the stillness of the ‘cave’ and on the other side the sound of water beating down on the rocks.

We spent the better half of the day just monkeying around, jumping off branches into the water, swinging from ropes and trying to get under the falls. It isn’t easy business because the water was pounding down furiously almost mockingly!

Anyway, here are some tips on surviving the falls (from your professional fall surviver - moi - of course):

• Wear the right gear. Take a tip from Dave who wore his sneakers. We had to walk across a small body of water and Dave thought the best course of action is to just walk through with his sneakers only, which equals to soaked sneakers.
• Bring a towel. Or two. You will need to dry yourself off and nobody likes sharing towels!
• Bring a mat. We forgot to bring one, and had to make do with the rocks around us. It wasn’t horrible but it would’ve been awesome to have a mat to lie on to relax and catch some rays.
• Sunblock. The boys were well and truly burnt by the end of the day! The thing about the falls is that you can’t tell when the sun is working its magic cause it’s so nice and cooling there. But rest assured that you will get burnt, so best to be prepared.
• You don’t need that much food! So we learnt. We brought enough food to feed… a lot of people. Didn’t even manage to make a sizable dent in our ration. So just bring easy to make food (Khalid’s bread and turkey ham slices was a big hit, mainly because it was so easy to put together) and lots of water.
• Be prepared to get wet. It’s a waterfall. Full of water. At some point you will get wet. Wear your swimmers underneath and don’t worry about your hair.
• Pick up after yourself. When we finally made it to the back of the falls, we found empty bottles of Coke! Seriously, it won’t kill you to just throw everything into a bag and carry it out with you. It take about a minute but the effect is priceless.
• Have as much fun as you possibly can! I felt like a child again. It’s been awhile since I was scrambling up rocks, jumping off branches and screaming at gushing water (don’t ask me why but, I was just standing there screaming at the water - happily of course). By the end of the day we felt exhausted but good.

My whole body is aching now but I’m loving it. The boys and I have decided to take a trip out of KL every month just to get away. It doesn’t have to be expensive or very far away. Sungai Dua took us about an hour to get to. Next month we’re going to try Kuala Kubu Baru. There’s Sungai Chenang there and I hear it’s got a real pretty waterfall.

Trala, la, la, la…

All the photos you see here are from Omar’s Flickr Photostream! You can find more photos from the trip there too!

I read this sometime ago and it has remained one of my favourite passages. From the book “A return to Love” by Marriane Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that

We are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that

We are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

Talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of Creation.
Your playing small

Does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people will not feel insecure around you.

We were born to make and manifest the glory

Of Creation that is within us.
It is not just in some of us;

It is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people

Permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Today while I was searching for an old email I came across an email from a friend that made me smile. That prompted me to go through some other older emails and lo and behold I came across some jewels. I always delete the bad emails (who needs to be reminded of those) and keep the sweet ones. So here are some of the emails that made me smile. They’re dated 2005. They’re from dear old friends and a past boyfriend. Each one is special to me for different reasons:

hi Kat,

back in KL la…have been for quite some time….good job on the telly my realisation is that the “formula” is great to know and sometimes the only thing that one can fall back on when everything gets crazy…but it is only thru the lense of experience that it is embodied…thats where i am at right now: experience…in what ever way it presents itself to me (and almost always not necessarly the way i expect it to be)

have fun on tv!

—————-

hey babe
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
didn’t think i’d forget did ya?

i just got back from chicago
my pic on the chicago reader!
here are some pics of my trip

—————-

Mi querida Hani,

Hi baby, after all those emails from you I cant wait to see you again and talk to you about your trip, it sounds like a lot of fun..yeah I love yachts now (yachts being after you of course).. KL got better now, its finally raining! too bad you are not here to watch the rain with me..well i guess getting burned on a yacht with occasional scuba dives into the crystal water of the sea, surrounded by colorful fishes and  beautiful corals and relaxing times in a Jacuzzi may be some what more indulging than staring at the rain..however i think if at this moment someone would offer me one or the other, I would choose to stare at the rain with you by my side.

What else have i done…its mostly college work, next week i have three presentations, so im working on it now and a paper due a week after that.

Yeah, I miss you and if you can please come into my dreams more often.

Take care baby and i miss you, muah, muah, muah.

———————-

Le sigh..

These bring back memories. Are there any old emails (since I don’t get letters anymore - except from Matthew who always sends me lovely postcards) that you could read that would make you feel better? Go ahead poke around, you might be surprised!

Good times~

Wouldn’t it be nice if everytime you achieved some personal milestone there was applause?

“Today I learnt to overcome my fear and stand up for myself”

APPLAUSE!

“I understand now why I go out with men like that, it was my daddy issues”

Applause!

“From now on I will take responsibility for my actions”

Applause!

“I have been working hard on my issues, and today I feel I’ve come to a point in my life where I can say I’m truly happy and proud to be me”

Standing fucking Ovation!

No one takes this seriously. Everyone is so focused in material milestones that small but ever so important personal ones are forgotten, played down or just deemed “GAY!”.

Go ahead, tell someone who asks you what you did today, “Today I told myself, I love you, and meant it. I’m so happy” and chances are you’ll get looks of “eh? what a sap” or “w-e-i-r-d-o!!”

Working hard at something and knowing deep within you that you deserve whatever it is you’ve worked for is so satisfying. Waking up in the morning and loving each day is exhilirating! And knowing that you’re aware, loved and in the flow of life because you choose to be is priceless.

Being that I am a great believer of the above mentioned title, I choose firmly to believe that the Universe will provide for me, and so I refuse to work at things which I feel are crushing my soul in general.

However, seeing that I am ape-shit broke my belief is starting to slowly wobble like jello. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such a situation. I’m actually starting to worry. And I never worry about money. Somehow it always comes at the right time.

Now, my only explanation for this is that I’m not sure what I want to do. I love acting but being in continuous mind-numbing Malaysian Drama’s is slowly wearing me out. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but it’s become such a business that it’s tiring and no longer ’stirring’ as it used to be.

Also it’s no longer fun.

There are still many Malaysian directors I’d love to work with, but seeing that the economic plunge is slowly causing wide spread panic, not many dramas/movies are being made - or at least not many that I know of or can be in.

Anyway, the other current project I wanted to work on was something I call The Artful. A sort of blog/art getaway for anything creative and artistic. However my recent foray in the internet world has proved how lowly my internetting skills are. So in a dejected huff, I am sort of shelving The Artful till I gain my internet confidence.

Also may or may not be working with Dave in creating and producing content for various sorts of things that his company needs and does. Wow. That was descriptive and clear. The may or may not depends largely on one point which is: How lazy I am. Or rather how hard-working I am.

It may seem that I am doing a gazillion things at once, but that is just a nifty little cover up to how incredibly lazy I am.

Other than that, college load is massive this semester and having not one but two anal lecturers breathing down your throat and trying to punish you for joining the class late (not very professional I might add) is not very conducive for skipping class to go for shoots (even if I always talk to the lecturer before I miss class).

In other words, I just want to sit at home and watch all the movies I’ve downloaded / bought / borrowed while stuffing my face with chocolate M&Ms. So you see, money can’t come if I’m not actually working. I’m sure the Universe is trying to provide, but having a bag of money just drop from the ceiling would surely be too much for even the Universe (right?).

I can’t seem to make up my mind on what I want to do. I hate being in limbo like this. It confuses me and makes me want to watch sad/happy movies like Slumdog Millionaire (yes, yes I cried like a big baby child). It also made me go: “Oh my god! It’s Anwar from Skins!! Putting on a fake Indian accent!!!”

Skins if you don’t know is a British drama series about a bunch of young kids running around doing drugs, drinking, having sex, being in relationships and other general stuff kids these days do daily. I secretly love the show (not so secret now eh?) and think back fondly of my younger years. Ok, I lie. I was never that cool (not that drinking or doing drugs is cool. No, no, no!)

Oh and here’s a bit of advice from your Aunt Honey: Always wear a condom kids!

*Ok, public service announcement : Check!

Anyway I digress, back to my misraeble, can’t-decide-what-I-want-do life. I’d like to do something that pays me enough to live comfortably every month, lets me go to college and other activities (they’re teaching Indian classical dance in KLPAC now and I’m just dying to join the classes) and that I enjoy doing (actually that should be on the top of the list). Oh and will not judge me if I put on a few pounds. I hate it when I go for shoots and directors go, “Uh, looking a little chubby on screen eh?” Grr! Leave me alone!! *chomp chomp on M&Ms*

Anyway, here are some pictures of how I currently look like. If you have anything for me to do: acting, hosting, anything art related bla, bla, contact me.

ok ta.. oh and GONG XI FATT CHAI!! May the blue / red bird of happiness shit on your filthy head yay!