Ever notice how everything in Malaysia always ends up in the mamak or some restaurant. Basically, everything in Malaysia involves eating. Now this is not good news to anyone who’s trying to a) Eat healthy b) Maintain a healthy weight.

So Ui Hua and I came up with this list of things to do that does not involve eating (and costs less than RM100). The really cool ones are mine and the sub par sometimes juvenile ones are Ui Hua’s. I only put them here so he doesn’t feel left out.

So in no random order:

• JOIN THE GYM. Most gym’s give out a 2 week free trial. Join the free trial, try out all the equipment and join all the classes. When you’re done, join another gym’s free trial! Try Celebrity Fitness (Bangsar Village 2, One Utama), Fitness First (The Curve, John Hancock, etc) or True Fitness (Section 14, Hartamas).
• BAT AWAY. Go to the batting cage at One Utama new wing. It’s only about RM30 for 15 minutes (I think around there). It’s loads of fun and good for letting off some steam!
• GET FREE COUPONS. Scan through local magazines and look for coupons for free stuff like massages, manicures and facials. Or alternatively you can check out the information counter at shopping malls. They always have these discount or free coupons from their vendors. Go wild!
• MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS. Learn how to make and play a musical instrument.

Building Musical Instruments.

Musical Craft Projects.

• GET AN EDUCATION. Randomly go into a college and attend a class.
• DRAW. Draw on pavements with chalks till you’re chased off.
• TWIST A BALLOON. Learn how to balloon twist. This is surprisingly fun to do!

Balloon twisting 101

Balloon twisting instructions

• URBAN LEGENDS. Test out urban legends to see if they’re true. Check out SNOPES and browse through their urban legends. Coke itself has about a gazillion legends!
• GO GAMEY. Play board games like Cranium, Risk or Taboo. Incidentally if anyone wants to play Cranium please contact me. We’re looking for people to play with (uh yes, did I just advertise that even banded together Ui Hua and I still don’t have enough friends to play a board game?? Yes Watson, I think I did).
• ULTIMATE FRISBEE. Find a couple of friends and play ultimate Frisbee. Good exercise and loads of fun!

And there you have it! I’m sure doing any of the above can keep you entertained for sometime. And best of all, it doesn’t involve much cash.

But, if it doesn’t here are a few more things you can do:

• Go to Borders, MPH or Kinokuniya and read for free.
• Play Paintball! Not as cheap as the rest, but if you have enough people you can have a good game for around RM60 per person.
• Go to a playground and go on all the rides.
• Go to a shopping mall, sit on the kiddie rides and see how long it takes before you get kicked off.
• Learn origami and gift your friends origami animals as birthday presents.
• Visit the SPCA or PAWS and play with the animals.
• Visit the ISA and play with the inmates (err… I don’t know how much trouble we might get for this one! And in case some of you didn’t get it, it’s a joke! Geez!)
• Go to the electronic store and set all the alarms to go off at the same time.
• Go to the toy store and put the dolls in lewd positions.

Got any more to add?

Ui Hua has been practicing Balloon Folding these past few days. I think he’s gotten pretty good. We dropped by this new Chocolate cafe in Bangsar Village I (next to the Starbucks, where Bakerzin used to be) to grab a hot chocolate (it was delicious) and Ui Hua demonstrated his skills for me. He made me a dog called Sally and a hat.

Whenever I’m with Ui Hua we always have these arguments on who gets to pay for meals – which is surprising because I feel most Malaysian men don’t usually pay for meals, much less argue to pay for meals. So I asked him, “What is a girl to do?”

These are Ui Hua’s tips on how to get a guy to pay for your meal:

• Wait till he says, “So, you want to adjourn from here?” (Though if he actually uses the word ‘adjourn’ you should never see him again purely on principle) so that he calls for the cheque. For some reason Ui Hua believes that whoever calls for the bill first needs to pay for it?
• Go to the toilet when he calls for the bill so you don’t have to pay. But you run the risk of coming out of the loo only to see that he has actually divided the bill in half and is waiting for you to pay your share (Ui Hua’s theory is that any guy with half a brain will settle the bill when the girl is in the loo – out of politeness. But see, that’s the problem there. He assumes that men have half a brain and are polite).
• When the bill arrives, take out your purse realllyy slowly.
• If he asks you out, it’s a given that he has to pay. So wait till he asks you out (uh, ok..)

Ui Hua’s theory is that chivalry is not part of Malaysian culture, hence that’s why most men don’t pick up the tab. I don’t know to what extent this statement is true, but having grown up in Malaysia, I must say, I haven’t encountered much chivalry myself. I never knew that chivalry was cultural thing! Or maybe men find it easier to get away with things here?

According to Uncle Lim’s friend, Farez (I think that’s his name) Malaysian men don’t think that women are of the same level or standard as them a.k.a, they look down on us. So basically, we don’t deserve chivalry. In fact (according to him) they think that having them take us out for meals is such a big deal that we should pay for our meals and perhaps even theirs. Now I’m not sure if these are also his views or if he’s just generalizing on other men.

Wow.

Is this really the viewpoint of Malaysian men? If it is, us women are screwed. If it is then it goes to show how much bullshit the women put up with. If it is we’re so deluded that we don’t even know we’re getting the short end of the stick.

So I’m going to conduct a little experiment here. I’m going to try and see if the statement “Malaysian men don’t believe in chivalry (and won’t pay)” is actually true. I’m going to go out with as many men as I can (ha ha, sound like fun eh? You haven’t met Malaysian men have you?), and when it’s time to pay I’m going to hold back or just pretend to pay and see how many men actually make the grand gesture.

Yes, it’s a great sacrifice I’m making for womankind…

Have you been playing with the Google Image Labeler (GIL)? Why that nasty little inconspicuous thing! You start off curious, what is this new fangled thingamajig? Then you think, ah why not, just give it a go. As you play you’re thinking, what a waste of time, but as soon as the score comes out you’re thinking, I have to do this again!

And thus begins the viscious cycle of image labeling.

Let me explain to you the rules of this wretchedness.

You and your partner – you’ll be matched up with someone randomly by google – will be given a picture. Your job is to label the picture. To give you a clear idea, I’m placing one of the actual images that came out for me:

So now both of us will have to label this picture. If we happen to match on our labels, we’ll earn points. Points can vary from 50 points to 150 points. Maybe more, but I’ve never gotten anything higher – Boo~

I labeled it ”row”, “green”, “similar” but we finally matched on “line” earning 140 points in the process. You only get your points if you match. If you don’t you can keep on guessing or you can pass. You need to label as many images (by this I mean, match on your labeling) under 2 minutes. The more you match, the higher you score. If you pass, you score nothing.

Oh and there are some words you can’t use to label – almost like playing Taboo!

I’ve got a cumulative score of 2770 for playing for 10 minutes. I blame my partners! Some of them pass without even trying to guess! I don’t think they understand that there is no right answer. If your words match you score, if they don’t, you don’t score. So the best thing to do is give as many answers as you can not just pass at a picture without even trying!!

(ok, ok calm down now, it’s just a game)

What can you do with the points? As far as i know, nothing. When the score comes out, I check out my partners answers and try to guess if they’re male or female. For instance, in one round we got an image of a buxom blond.

I labeled: “woman”, “breasts”, “model”.

My partner labeled: “girl”, “model”, ‘tits”

We scored on the label “model. But my guess is that this person is a man. Now I will never know if I’m right or wrong, but it’s fun to try guessing!

I finally managed to find a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide at Borders, The Gardens. Matthew told me about the book and I’ve been wanting to read it for ages.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have, I guess you can say, a ‘thing’‘ for zombies. Not necessarily a good thing, but a thing nonetheless.

Many a times I have sat up, sat down, stayed up, drove around wondering what I would do in a zombie attack. Well, now I have a guide, a survival guide! I am saved!

Yay!

You can purchase the book at Borders, The Gardens for (the crazy price of) RM53.90 / USD15.40.

I got this off the Humanist of Utah website. It’s bloody funny and insightful! Enjoy:

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your Devoted Fan,

Jim